Happy Hump Day!
My excitement and nerves have been skyrocketing for Spring Break. Excitement and nerves? Some of you may be wondering why I am pairing those two emotions together and I have the reasons why! The obvious excitement rushing through my body is because I am going to be reunited with the beach. The sun beating down, warming me to the core is my favorite feeling. Hearing the waves crash against the sand. Smelling the fresh air that is incomparable to home’s. People watching and seeing nothing but smiles on stranger’s faces. If only I could pick up my life and move to a beach house on an island I would be my happiest… but wouldn’t anybody? The nerves? Well, about a week ago the doctor decided to go through with my Mom’s clinical trial treatment for her Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. To start off she takes an oral pill everyday. This is supposed to cause some bones aches, nausea, etc... (nothing she can’t handle). Then, she should start the IV drug mid-April. However, like I have said before and will say again, cancer is not that simple. This past week she has been moving around like a 99 year old woman. She can barely walk, she could not sleep through the night, and she was in an incredible amount of pain. How in the heck is she going to travel to Florida with all these side effects? It would be difficult. And as her caretaker, helper, best friend, and daughter I started panicking. Waking up Monday morning, she was nervous to go to work, because sitting down for too long hurt. She sits all day, designing on a computer. I asked to take a look at the joints that were hurting her only to feel my heart drop into the pit of my stomach… “Mom! Your ankle! Why is it so swollen?!” I reached harshly in a way that made her jump. “I know! I told you it hurts, look at my elbow and wrists.” She replied back. As I examined the rest of her body we both came to the conclusion that this was not right. Something was wrong. I think she needed that conformation. We planned for her to go in late to work and see the doctor immediately. Of course, her doctor is on vacation, so she had to see another. They agreed that these side effects were too severe and she should stop the oral drug. She was to return the next morning for labs... Returning the next morning her labs seemed to be okay, so the doctor told her to continue taking the medicine. Complete frustration took over my body. I was honestly a wreck all day. Waking up today, I decided to try another outlook. There is really nothing we can do. She has to fight this off and if the doctor says it is safe to return to the medicine then we just have to trust their judgement and if the pain returns maybe I can convince her to just not take it until she gets a hold of her doctor. Am I still nervous for this trip? Yes. But I am going to let my feelings of excitement overpower those nerves. At least I get to go on this trip, with my amazing Mom, and get some much needed relaxation for the both of us. Staying positive is a powerful thing.
2 Comments
Natasha
3/27/2019 05:06:35 pm
This description makes me nervous, too! You've done such a great job of conveying why you're worrying (too good--now I want to hear how it's going to turn out! You're going to have to keep blogging on Tuesdays, because I want to know what happens past March 31st!) I love the description of the beach, too. You made it so easy to picture.
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AuthorI am a second grade teacher at Irving Elementary School in a co-taught classroom! Archives
May 2019
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